The 80/20 Rule of Sex Gear

I just came back from a retail excursion to my favorite local leather and sex gear store here in San Francisco. Of course, the handsome salesman at the store was smart enough to show me one of the new erotic gadgets that just came onto the market. Without getting into specifics, let’s just say it was quite a cool device. I bought it.

However, I didn’t buy it too impulsively. One of the things I’ve learned over my many years of purchasing sex gear is that often I end up not using it. Things looks incredibly enticing at the time, but then when I actually get into the bedroom or playroom, I end up not using much of what I own. Why is that? It has to do with the 80/20 rule of sex gear.

Many of you reading this will recognize the 80/20 rule. Originally known as The Pareto Principle, it contends that about 80% of effects come from 20% of causes and its origins are from the business management theory realm. A version of the 80/20 rule has also been applied to economics, time management and many other aspects of life. Now I’m applying it to sex gear.

So my 80/20 Rule of Sex Gear goes like this: We tend to use 20% of our sex gear 80% of the time. Maybe you’ve discovered this too. During your erotic play you tend to reach for the same few toys and devices while the bulk of your collection sits idle much or all of the time. This tends to happen with fetish clothing as well. I’ve talked about this with other people and everyone seems to have similar experiences. So, back to my purchase today.

As the salesman was showing me the cool device that I ended up buying, I temporarily suppressed my natural tendency to want to own every sex toy I see and paused for a moment. I projected my thinking into the future and asked myself “Will I really use this often enough to make the purchase worthwhile”? Obviously I felt I would, but pausing to ask myself that question has eliminated a lot of unnecessary purchases over the years and honed by sex gear collection to items I use most of the time.

This has a few advantages. Of course, one advantage is that it saves me money that I might otherwise spend on things I won’t really use. But even more importantly for me, by focusing my money and efforts on fewer items that I end up using more often, I use them to better effect. By having fewer things that I use more often, I use them much more effectively during my sexual play. My skill level with them goes up significantly because I use them so much more often. I’m also not rifling through a toybox filled with unused items trying to search for that one thing I use a lot.

So, by all means, buy sex gear. Whether it’s fetish clothing, BDSM gear or other sexual paraphernalia, I always encourage people to expand their horizons and enjoy sex in all its forms. Just add my 80/20 rule to your sexual retail outings or online purchases and you’ll not only save money, but you’ll probably improve your play as well.