I’ve made a big decision (at least a big decision for me) that was a difficult one to make. I’ve decided I’m going to try and avoid using the word “leather” as often as possible when referring to what’s historically been called the leather community. I know this is heresy to some, but it just seems to make sense to me at this point in time. As someone who came out into kink at a very young age amidst the burgeoning leather scene, this is not an easy pill to swallow. Reality, though, dictates this change for me.
Once upon a time the leather naming convention made sense. Virtually all of the BDSM/kink world in which I circulated related to the term leather. Leather garb was the norm. It was ubiquitous. The biker aesthetic was so pervasive that it was virtually the only accepted way to dress and present oneself as a kinky gay man or woman (at least amongst gays and lesbians). That is no longer the case.
While I move within all gender and orientation circles, my main stomping ground is within the kinky gay male community. Take a look at how the kinky gay men of today dress, especially the younger guys, and you’ll notice it’s all over the map. Some still wear traditional leather, but many others are choosing leather-like imagery such as Nasty Pig. Others choose sports gear. Still others choose the skinhead look. A wide range of uniforms are popular. Yet others prefer rubber. And more looks and expressions meant to transmit a preference for various sexualities are emerging constantly. Leather just doesn’t fit enough situations anymore to be considered an all-encompassing term.
Here’s the hard part though. What can we use to replace the term leather? In all honesty, I’m not entirely sure. What I do know is that the variations of sexuality, how we identify with them, and how we dress to indicate such preferences, are changing rapidly. Our terminology isn’t.
I’m a word guy. Words have power. To cling to the term leather simply because of its historical significance is to potentially do a disservice to the entire scene itself. If you’re someone just exploring your kinky self, and don’t relate to the leather imagery, what are you to do? The nuanced explanations that leather has come to encompass lots of non-leather as well is just plain confusing to many neophytes. Why not broaden our terminology to more adequately include folks who might otherwise be dissuaded from being part of our world?
Using the term leather can also actually hurt the community. As one small example, I was talking with someone who mentioned that a well-known community member (who should have known better) was judging a leather contest and actually gave a contestant a low mark because they chose to wear some rubber when competing. What the fuck? How archaic a notion. An otherwise stellar individual was marked down because they chose to express their kinky self using some rubber instead of all leather (it was just one article of rubber amidst many other outfits of leather). See, words do have power. Utter the word leather enough and pretty soon it becomes a perceived de facto standard that doesn’t fit the reality it purports to represent. We need to move on.
I’m not saying there aren’t proper usages for the word leather. I’m sure I will continue to use it in certain circumstances. It’s just now one of many terms I plan to use, not the only term. What are those other terms? Stay tuned. I’m still working that out. I know many have used the leather/SM/fetish convention (myself included), but that gets clunky after a while. So if you have any other good suggestions, I’d love to hear them.
For those who might chuckle, yes I understand the irony that the advertisement below is for a company famous for its excellent leather.
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Good piece. I agree that words have power. Although we use words to help us define our world for others, we also shape and form our world through the language we use. Language influences thought; thought (hopefully) influences behavior and action.
It is a new world for the kink and fetish crowd. A community is defined, in part, by sharing common values and language. I recently declared the leather community dead– not because there isn’t still a great deal of vital things going on, but because we are no longer a singular entity as a kink and fetish crowd. We don’t speak the same language, wear the same gear, believe in the same values. And although there’s no harm in occasionally looking back in nostalgia, time only marches forward.
Scott, thanks for your input. I agree with you that we are no longer a single entity, but rather a loosely held together collection of various sexual interests, of which leather and its associations are but one.
This is a very complex area – as complex as how “Gay” was used to define a homosexual person. Good luck Race and small steps may be the best solution to this.
Despite a nearly lifelong interest in kink – and a much later move to act upon it – I’ve never been comfortable with the all-encompassing use of the word “leather”. Leather has never really had any appeal – other than aesthetic – for me no matter now much farther I moved into the gay male kink community.
Years ago when I was in my early twenties and just beginning to pursue my interest in kink play – I’m 44 now – I began to see a definite divide between Old Guard leather and what I was interested in pursuing. Leather was hot, leather certainly could help identify others who I thought might share my interests or, better, be able to teach me but it never became a fetish in and of itself. I found myself running into guys who really took a very hard line attitude about it, though, and it left me feeling that maybe I simply didn’t belong in those circles.
Now, of course, I am part of what many might describe as a leather family and while I own a fair amount of leather, I still don’t see it as part of my own self-perception. I like it, I enjoy wearing it, but I see it as something that has a very specific place. Much as I might wear a jacket and tie to job interview or the opera, or swim trunks to the beach, leather has a very specific role in my life and I wear it to events where it seems to be the appropriate form of dress.
You’re right, Race. The word leather doesn’t begin to describe the variety of images and identities we have built for ourselves as kinky gay men, but it is a potent and legitimate shorthand. While I live on the fringes of the organized leather community, it’s still a community in which I participate, and it continues to influence much of what happens in my life. But I like the increasing openness to broader and looser descriptives.
Race, I personally use Kink or Fetish to describe our Community much more than Leather. This partly because as a long-time 15 Association member, I have noticed that a large number of fun players didn’t subscribe to that norm. It wasn’t about what was worn on the outside, but what was happening on the inside. Its true many leathermen and women are not that kinky, but leather is definitely a fetish. Take your pick, we’ll know what you mean.
I also agree with what Eric has written above. As Daddy and boy, in a polyamorous family we think of ourselves as both a Leather Family and a Kinky Family. I don’t live in a world where I need to wear leather all the time to define myself. In fact I find myself as I get older slipping out of these restricting definitions. I have less need to create an image. But in many ways this is also because that “image” has gotten deep inside me. I was recently in Mexico City with my ex from 26 years ago, He had picked up a 24 year-old Mexican boy who commented that I belonged in the “Leather Bar” not the one we were in, without knowing anything about me.
But I think to be more inclusive of those young men who wear sports kit, skinhead gear or rubber, we need to shed the Old Guard attitude that you illustrated so well, and call ourselves something new. Kinksters. Fetish Folk. Be creative!
Well said, sir. Language conventions evolve, and we need to accept that and evolve with them. Look at how “Negro” was supplanted by “Black” and later “African-American”. Similarly, how “homophile” organizations were supplanted by “gay” organizations, then “GLBT” and now even “queer” groups.
I’ve alternately used “BDSM” and “kink” in parlance, and see “leather” as a specific subculture within that larger (and ever-broadening) community. Just my $0.02…
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