I have been promising to post a review for The Truth About Sex: A Sex Primer for the 21st Century for a few weeks since I finished reading it. So here’s the abbreviated version of the review:
Everyone should read this book. I mean everyone.
OK, with that said, read on if you want more details.
Let me say up front that Dr. Gloria Brame is a friend of mine and someone I have longed admired for her sound mind and wonderful writing. She is one of the most refreshing and qualified voices in the world of sexuality today and reading anything by her is a joyful experience. Her latest book, the first in what she anticipates will be a trilogy, is no different.
The Truth About Sex ostensibly focuses on the topic of masturbation, but in the course of discussing that topic Brame covers a wide swath of ground regarding human sexuality. Brame unabashedly embraces masturbation as not only a natural and welcome addition to anyone’s sexuality, but encourages it as a means to mental and physical health which she backs up with many research studies without making the book at any time seem overly academic. It’s written in a very friendly and accessible style.
Along the way as she discusses masturbation, Brame also discusses society’s often misguided condemnation of masturbation, the intricacies and benefits of the orgasm, the hows and whys of masturbation, what is sex and the language we use regarding sexuality, various challenges people have around their sexuality, and much more.
Scattered throughout are real-life case studies from Brame’s own practice that clearly illustrate the topic being discussed. We are given some wonderful insight into the world of sexologists and others who counsel people regarding sexuality issues.
If there is a single, underlying message I got from this fantastic book it’s that “masturbation and sex is good” and anyone who tells you different is just plain wrong. That’s certainly a message I can get behind and support.
If I have anything constructive to say regarding the book, it’s that I wish Brame didn’t use the term “unsafe sex” so generically. I have worked since the 80s in various ways within HIV/STD prevention and sexual health and I find the use of the term often misleading. Much the way many in the BDSM world now prefer the term Risk-Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) as opposed to Safe, Sane and Consensual (SSC), many in the sexual health realm prefer to use more exact terminology such as “safer sex” or “risk-aware, informed sex.” This might sound nit picky, and perhaps it is, but it’s something I feel passionate about. But this is no reason not to read this book. I’m already re-reading it for the second time now myself.
Do yourself a favor and buy and read this book. If you have anything to do with teaching or counseling about sexuality, buy and read this book. If you know professors teaching human sexuality classes, suggest this as required reading. If you know of anyone struggling with negative feelings about their own sexuality, buy and give them this book. You and they won’t be disappointed.
