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Are We Too Inclusive?

A friend of mine, Aaron Duke, posed the following question on his Facebook wall: “In the leather, kink, fetish, and BDSM community, we say we are ALL inclusive. Are we truly ALL inclusive or are we exclusive? What does being ALL inclusive look like? What effects has/will being ALL inclusive have on our community?” Below […]

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So, You’re Kinky And Thinking About Coming Out

Every so often an article I read is so well written and thoughtful that I have to share it. A friend of mine recently wrote an article published in the San Francisco Society of Janus’ Growing Pains newsletter and it’s brilliant. It says much of what I’ve been saying about kinksters coming out, but far more […]

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How I Learned To Smoke A Cigar

I just returned from a week of socializing and play in Chicago at the International Mr. Leather (IML) weekend. What a great time. At one point over the weekend I learned how to smoke a cigar. (Please, no lectures on the health implications. I’m not likely to be a frequent smoker anyway.) For many kinky […]

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We Are All In The Selling Business

I delivered this speech on April 12, 2013 as the opening keynote address at Kink LINCS, a leadership and community-building symposium held in Seattle, Washington for those who are part of the leather, BDSM, kink, fetish, poly, swing and other sex-positive communities. Good evening. Welcome to the beautiful city of Seattle, and to the great […]

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Letting the New Blood Run Things

A while back I wrote a post titled We Need To Let The Younger Guys Take Over in which I wrote about the need for us older folk who’ve been running things for a while to step back and let the younger guys (and by implication, younger everyone) take over. I believe that now more than […]

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No Tolerance For Inaccurate BDSM Articles

Lately there has been a steady stream of mainstream articles published about BDSM. I’m sure this is at least in part due to what we now refer to as the “50 Shades” effect. Some of them have been quite good. Unfortunately, some of these articles are penned by some rather clueless and judgmental writers. Sometimes, […]

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NGLTF Creating Change 2013 Leather Leadership Award

Today, at the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Creating Change conference in Atlanta, I was awarded their 2013 Leather Leadership Award. It is a moment in time and an award I will remember for a lifetime. The video recording of the awards ceremony is below. The award is presented within the first 20 minutes […]

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Let’s Help Cure Hepatitis C

(See updates below after reading the post.) This may seem off topic for this blog, but I think it’s right on topic. Hepatitis C affects many people, including those in the vast alternative sexualities and relationships networks. Hepatitis C is seen by many as not only a public health concern, but a sexual health concern. […]

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