Comments on: Kink Aware Professionals http://bannon.com Intelligent information, ideas and insights about the adventurous side of sex and relationships. Thu, 26 Aug 2010 23:00:13 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Race Bannon http://bannon.com/kap/comment-page-1/#comment-1414 Race Bannon Fri, 09 Jul 2010 20:33:38 +0000 http://bannon.com/?page_id=36#comment-1414 Janice, I sent you a direct email regarding your question. Janice, I sent you a direct email regarding your question.

]]> By: Janice http://bannon.com/kap/comment-page-1/#comment-1354 Janice Wed, 07 Jul 2010 15:47:50 +0000 http://bannon.com/?page_id=36#comment-1354 I am doing an paper on bdsm vrs abuse.Can you give some site to go to get information. I am doing it for my ethic class. I am in the bdsm lifestyle and I love it. Can you help me out I am doing an paper on bdsm vrs abuse.Can you give some site to go to get information. I am doing it for my ethic class. I am in the bdsm lifestyle and I love it. Can you help me out

]]> By: Race Bannon http://bannon.com/kap/comment-page-1/#comment-1292 Race Bannon Sun, 04 Jul 2010 01:03:22 +0000 http://bannon.com/?page_id=36#comment-1292 James, there are some types of advice I feel qualified to give and other types I do not. When I consider a question posed to me to begin to tread on psychotherapeutic and relationship counseling territory, I defer to the professionals. My advice to you is to consult the Kink Aware Professionals website and to find someone in your area that you can talk to about this. Perhaps they can bring your partner into the discussion and it can be worked out. What I will say is that many kinky folks have entirely vanilla partners and they work it out just fine. I hear this all of the time. When one partner begins to explore their kinky side it sometimes becomes a point of contention within a vanilla relationship. It does not need to be contentious in all cases. Especially if a relationship is honest and open and the kinky partner gets to explore their kink outside of the relationship adequately, many partners incorporate this into their lives quite well over time. With that said, I do strongly suggest you find a professional in which you can confide and who might be able to help you, and perhaps your partner, to work on this. You have my sincere best wishes that it works out well. James, there are some types of advice I feel qualified to give and other types I do not. When I consider a question posed to me to begin to tread on psychotherapeutic and relationship counseling territory, I defer to the professionals. My advice to you is to consult the Kink Aware Professionals website and to find someone in your area that you can talk to about this. Perhaps they can bring your partner into the discussion and it can be worked out. What I will say is that many kinky folks have entirely vanilla partners and they work it out just fine. I hear this all of the time. When one partner begins to explore their kinky side it sometimes becomes a point of contention within a vanilla relationship. It does not need to be contentious in all cases. Especially if a relationship is honest and open and the kinky partner gets to explore their kink outside of the relationship adequately, many partners incorporate this into their lives quite well over time. With that said, I do strongly suggest you find a professional in which you can confide and who might be able to help you, and perhaps your partner, to work on this. You have my sincere best wishes that it works out well.

]]> By: James M. Vance http://bannon.com/kap/comment-page-1/#comment-1234 James M. Vance Thu, 24 Jun 2010 19:08:07 +0000 http://bannon.com/?page_id=36#comment-1234 I desperately need some type of help! In all that I've read so far, my situation is not mentioned. I am an older (70) senior with a partner. We have been together for 30 years, in what (I thought) was a happy, satisfactory (vanilla) relationship. In the past two months, my partner has turned my world upside down! He has informed me that our relationship is no longer satisfactory to him, in fact, has not been so for ten years. He feels that he must explre what he calls his "darker" side, learning more about BDSM and (I think) eventually practising it. I am completely at a loss as to what to do. I have read, as I say, a few books, and honestly I must say that I have found much tiltillating, such as bondage, tit play, light flogging, some fisting. I am a top, btw, but one time my partner bound me to a chair and proceeded to "play", and I was very surprised at my reactions. I liked it! But the thing that upsets me so much is him telling me our relationship is over. I have extremely deep feelings for him, and we have an intermigled life. He is an electrical engineer, I am retired. He is a consultant, and has been working in another state for 5 years now, with frequent trips here, and I go there as much as possible. We have enjoyed 30 years of travel, doing little thing together--having, what I considered to be a happy relationship. Now, according to him, it is complely gone between us. He no longer gets an erection when we have sex, and says this is proof that we no longer have a relationship. It's not ED though. He says he has no troulbe when he masterbates. I am more than willing to try and do things he feels "turns him on", but he says I shouldn't do thing just to please him--it should be to please me, also. I really don't know what to do. All of the books I've read talk about SM realationships between two people who want or need SM in their lives. I'm ambiguous, not sure if I do and not sure if I don't. What should I do? I want, with all my heart, to keep us together, but I don't know how at this point. Please help me--give me some sort of advice. Thank you I desperately need some type of help! In all that I’ve read so far, my situation is not mentioned.
I am an older (70) senior with a partner. We have been together for 30 years, in what (I thought) was a happy, satisfactory (vanilla) relationship. In the past two months, my partner has turned my world upside down! He has informed me that our relationship is no longer satisfactory to him, in fact, has not been so for ten years. He feels that he must explre what he calls his “darker” side, learning more about BDSM and (I think) eventually practising it.
I am completely at a loss as to what to do. I have read, as I say, a few books, and honestly I must say that I have found much tiltillating, such as bondage, tit play, light flogging, some fisting. I am a top, btw, but one time my partner bound me to a chair and proceeded to “play”, and I was very surprised at my reactions. I liked it!
But the thing that upsets me so much is him telling me our relationship is over. I have extremely deep feelings for him, and we have an intermigled life.
He is an electrical engineer, I am retired. He is a consultant, and has been working in another state for 5 years now, with frequent trips here, and I go there as much as possible. We have enjoyed 30 years of travel, doing little thing together–having, what I considered to be a happy relationship. Now, according to him, it is complely gone between us. He no longer gets an erection when we have sex, and says this is proof that we no longer have a relationship. It’s not ED though. He says he has no troulbe when he masterbates.
I am more than willing to try and do things he feels “turns him on”, but he says I shouldn’t do thing just to please him–it should be to please me, also.
I really don’t know what to do. All of the books I’ve read talk about SM realationships between two people who want or need SM in their lives. I’m ambiguous, not sure if I do and not sure if I don’t. What should I do? I want, with all my heart, to keep us together, but I don’t know how at this point. Please help me–give me some sort of advice.

Thank you

]]> By: Race Bannon http://bannon.com/kap/comment-page-1/#comment-442 Race Bannon Fri, 18 Dec 2009 00:51:18 +0000 http://bannon.com/?page_id=36#comment-442 Kay, I am not a psychotherapeutic professional and don't feel I can offer specific advice here. But you should most definitely try to find a psychotherapist who understands these issues and will help you work through them in a nonjudgmental and informed manner. I highly recommend you seek out a therapist near you using the Kink Aware Professionals information site you'll find under the Resources section of the www.ncsfreedom.org website. Kay, I am not a psychotherapeutic professional and don’t feel I can offer specific advice here. But you should most definitely try to find a psychotherapist who understands these issues and will help you work through them in a nonjudgmental and informed manner. I highly recommend you seek out a therapist near you using the Kink Aware Professionals information site you’ll find under the Resources section of the http://www.ncsfreedom.org website.

]]> By: Glenna Lee http://bannon.com/kap/comment-page-1/#comment-440 Glenna Lee Thu, 17 Dec 2009 14:01:44 +0000 http://bannon.com/?page_id=36#comment-440 To Whom it may concern, I am in desperate need of a therapy. I found this site on the web and hope , you can help. I recently figured out after two very bad relationship's that I am submissive and the man I used to date along with my current husband are both abusive and not in a good way. I have learned the difference as there's stem from insecurity not D/S. I't has gotten pretty bad and I have learned that mental abuse is way worse than physical. I tried getting therapy and when I told her about being a sex slave online she said that , "it was a mental problem to want to be that way". I really have no one else to turn to. To be honest , I will also have to find someone who is not to expensive because I do not want him to know I am going. My husband would go and try to control and if he could not then he would make sure I could not go. Hoping to hear from you, and ever great full, Kay To Whom it may concern, I am in desperate need of a therapy. I found this site on the web and hope , you can help. I recently figured out after two very bad relationship’s that I am submissive and the man I used to date along with my current husband are both abusive and not in a good way. I have learned the difference as there’s stem from insecurity not D/S. I’t has gotten pretty bad and I have learned that mental abuse is way worse than physical. I tried getting therapy and when I told her about being a sex slave online she said that , “it was a mental problem to want to be that way”. I really have no one else to turn to. To be honest , I will also have to find someone who is not to expensive because I do not want him to know I am going. My husband would go and try to control and if he could not then he would make sure I could not go.
Hoping to hear from you, and ever great full, Kay

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