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July 17, 2011

People Vote With Their Feet

In the leather/kink world lately there is much consternation about change. Gay men’s leather bars are closing. The pansexual movement seems to be abating and reaching a more natural equilibrium. The rigidity of roles and protocols is lessening. There is more diversity in terms of the sheer number of popular kinks and scene possibilities. Young folks coming into kink seem less bound by traditions and perceived rules. The web is democratizing the entire kink world and usurping the control formerly held by clubs and organizations. Yes, things are changing. Good. Lack of change would mean that things are stagnating. Let’s hear it for change.

But such change brings with it the usual concerns of many who decry such change as bad. Such change is seen by many as somehow an affront to their own sexuality.

Ultimately, people vote with their feet. People will support businesses, organizations, events and social/sexual dynamics only if they see them as relevant to their lives. If businesses, institutions and trends are changing, it’s likely because people are seeing such changes as beneficial to their own sexual lives. Why is this so hard to embrace?

There should really only be one criteria by which any of us judges our sexuality, erotic lives and the related social and personal relationships – do they make us happy. Everything else is just noise. If your own choices make you happy, and don’t directly impact others in some negative way, great. You are on the right path and don’t let anyone else tell you any differently.

3 Comments on “People Vote With Their Feet

Sarah Sloane
July 17, 2011 at 5:19 pm

Race, this really hits home for me today. I’ve read & listened to so many thoughts and comments about the direction of the community from elders and newbies alike; the one thing that many of them are missing is the fact that people will go, and do, what feels right for them personally – not what everyone else tells them to do. Your post gives me a different bit of framework for responding to those folks. Thank you.

Race Bannon
July 17, 2011 at 7:03 pm

Sarah, thanks! I’m glad it hit home for you. If we continually do what others tell us to do, we end up unhappy and unfulfilled. We can certainly listen to others for any wisdom they might give us, but we have to ultimately do what works for us.

[…] I love When Somebody says it Better: 17Jul11 There should really only be one criteria by which any of us judges our sexuality, erotic lives and the related social and personal relationships – do they make us happy. Everything else is just noise.  –Race Bannon […]

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