How About “Dungeon Concierge” Instead Of “Dungeon Monitor”?

The language we use has tremendous power. Simply using the correct word or phrase can change perceptions in profound ways. Since the BDSM and kink scene is replete with a zillion identifiers and descriptive words and phrases, you practically need a glossary to fee like you’re adequately in the know.

The topic of using language well came up when I was having a discussion with someone who finds the idea that people officially sanctioned to do so watch over him at play parties, sometimes over-zealously, and he finds that intrusive and annoying. These people who watch over play at large BDSM parties are typically referred to as Dungeon Monitors (DM’s).

While I fully understand why party organizers want such people in their play spaces, I also know that many people do find them sometimes intrusive. I have mixed feelings about DM’s, but I fully understand their usefulness. However, perhaps a bit of reframing of what a DM is might foster more fondness for DM’s and not make some players feel like they’re “being watched over” quite so much. And that might also foster more people attending such play parties.

Monitor means one that warns, instructs, watches over, keeps track of or checks on someone.

Concierge means someone whose job it is to help people with problems and to give them information.

Which sounds friendlier? Which sounds less confrontational?

And concierge actually describes what most DM’s do anyway. More often than not they are helping people find equipment cleaning or safer sex supplies, directing them to bathrooms, informing them of where they can talk and where loud talk isn’t allowed, and so on. Yes, they keep an eye on what’s going on to be sure there’s no egregious violation of BDSM safety or of that particular play space’s rules, but really they’re there for more informational and assistance purposes than to police violators of safety or rules.

So I’m just putting this out there in the BDSM and kinky ether to see if this idea resonates with anyone else. Your thoughts?