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September 7, 2012

We Need To Let The Younger Guys Take Over

Before I start rambling here, let me state upfront that this post is specifically for gay leathermen. It’s not a topic that’s as relevant for others. With that said…

Today I had a chat with a casual friend of mine who is a long-time leatherman. He was excited that a former leather bar of ours here in San Francisco, the San Francisco Eagle, is reopening after being closed for a while. The entire kink/leather community here in San Francisco is hopeful that the new bar will offer us yet one more venue in which to meet and socialize.

During our chat my friend started to say something like (not an exact quote) “Our entire scene is built on the foundation of us older leathermen.” I think he even used the term I’m not a huge fan of, the Old Guard. His tone and fervor seemed to indicate that he believes the bulk of the scene is in our hands today. I took exception with him.

No, I’m not saying that leathermen did not, indeed, build the foundations upon which much of what we today refer to as the modern leather/BDSM/fetish community has flourished. My friend though was implying that even today’s modern leather/kink scene is primarily fueled by us (yes, I’m one of them) older leathermen. I contend it is not.

All around the country and in Europe I’m seeing younger guys stepping up to the plate and taking charge of our clubs and organizations, events, venues, retailers, and so on. Yes, us older guys still have our place. We are still vital members of this community. We still contribute on all fronts. Many of the younger guys do look to us for information and wisdom. But far too often I see many older guys like myself failing to step aside on the kinky path to let the younger guys do their thing unencumbered.

At times I sense my older leathermen peers adopt an attitude that implies they are doing it all correctly and the younger guys must replicate what we do, how we dress, how we socialize, how we play, and how we identify with our kink. I think that’s a recipe for the atrophying of our scene, not its growth.

Change is inevitable. It’s one of the few universal constants. If anything in the universe stays the same, it eventually withers and ceases to exist. Why should we think the kinky scene we all love is any different. Change is good, not bad. Change breathes new life into things. And typically a large part of the energy for such change, no matter in what context, comes from younger people. So it is with leather and kink.

To the younger leathermen’s and kinksters’ credit, they have generally been quite inclusive of us older guys. I have rarely felt any sense of youth entitlement or feeling left out of things because of my age. Sure, younger guys at times want to be with their own kind. Good for them. That’s natural as human beings that we sometimes aggregate in clusters of those who are most like us. But overall I find the younger men ready to embrace and include us older guys in their midst.

The younger guys bring with them a new perspective on the leather and kink scene. They often dress differently than the classic leatherman. They often play differently than the classic leatherman. They often socialize differently than the classic leatherman. They often see their erotic identities differently than the classic leatherman. I think this is a good thing. I love to see our scene grow and morph into a wider variety of erotic and identity expressions.

So, I’m one old leatherman who is quite happy to wave the younger kinksters past me and encourage them to do the things many of them are doing so well. I’ll continue to contribute in the ways I can. And when you mix it all together, you have a healthier and better leather and kink scene. There is room for everyone.

4 Comments on “We Need To Let The Younger Guys Take Over

Papa Tony
September 7, 2012 at 6:51 pm

I’m glad to say that San Diego’s local gay fetishmen community is vibrantly and sparklingly thriving due to so many younger men who have grabbed up the torch from us older guys.

At our recent big Gear Night dance party called BELT, we had a full three dozen men (average age 28) whose job was to enjoy the party, but if they saw anybody of any age, color, body-style or experience-level who looked shy, isolated or otherwise disconnected, their job was to go up to that man, welcome him, bring him to friendly guys and introduce him around. That way, everybody felt included. These men did this good work with the biggest grins you ever saw:

http://goo.gl/MDM0D

At the recent Mr. San Diego Leather contest, there were eight young men who were either contestants or support-team members for the fantasy portion – They blew away everyone in the audience, and it was all “New Guard”-style fantasy and performance. No artifice, no apologies. All power and authenticity.

http://goo.gl/WQcJe

During Aaron’s 90-second speech (just before he claimed his title as Mr. San Diego Leather 2012), he made every older man in the audience weep tears of joy. Literally, not figuratively – he told me he could see this from the stage as he spoke.

After the contest, nearly every older gay leatherman approached me to rave about what they had seen – the future had arrived, and they were thrilled. “Things have CHANGED!” was the common, delighted refrain.

A final thought:

I am delighted to say that I get to witness something that warms my old man’s heart – I often get to sit in on what I call “Biz” discussions. This includes talk about networking, planning, cooperating, lining-up resources and calendars. Nowadays, it’s all young, passionate, idealistic and effective men of the new generation who are at their prime, and they are DEDICATED.

http://goo.gl/A5LDy

All that I have to do is watch and listen, and marvel at how secure our community’s future has become. Approximately seventy percent of FMSD’s newest members are under 35 years old, and we’re getting between five and eight new members a DAY, day in and day out. The younger generation has grabbed the football, and is showing us how glorious they can be. My job as an older, experienced man is to mentor, show approval, and thank them for doing such great work.

Larry Shockey
September 8, 2012 at 8:48 am

Where we get stuck is when someone feels like he or she “owns” an event, organization, venue, etc. It’s easy, once one gets the hang of something, to just keep doing things the same old way and to rebuff suggestions about doing things differently. Familiarity breeds contempt–contempt for new ideas and fresh blood. I personally believe that when one accepts a leadership role, he should not maintain that role for more than 2 or 3 years before handing it off to someone else. Of course part of that is grooming your successor, passing along the skills necessary to do the job, and not necessarily brainwashing her with your mindset on how things must be done. I’ve done my stint at heading organizations, and I’ve followed my own lead. I’m happy that new folks have stepped to the front, bringing their own ideas and ideals to the forefront. Most of the time it all worked out just fine. A lot of the time, ideas were brought forward that I never would have thought of, great ideas. And I’m happy for that. I agree with Race–if we don’t change, we become irrelevant.

[…] Race Bannon at bannon.com […]

Letting the New Blood Run Things
March 29, 2013 at 10:59 am

[…] while back I wrote a post titled We Need To Let The Younger Guys Take Over in which I wrote about the need for us older folk who’ve been running things for a while to […]

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